At night I either walk around strange places and controll doors, locks, windows and controling devices, or I sit in a kind of control station or main post and check people coming in, coming out and controlling devices – I wear blue clothes uniform style and am the last one in the pecking order, don’t know whether the picture of the low man of the totem pole is right.

Tonight I attended the official and public “lecture of accession” (Antrittsvorlesung – that is the official initial lecture the new installed keeper of the chair gives) of a friend. She’s a little older than me and de facto leading that institute for three years. There was no time for this act of initiation until now. The Dean delivered a terrible speech and she did well, despite some electronical flaws of the equipment. After all I think we should all learn to speak freely and we should never rely on these tools as beamers or picture flashing devices – it’s the word that counts: Grab your audience and shake it! She used the so called presentation-thingy by an acceptable and satisfying minimum.
(If it is not an outspoken lecture about art with pictures you have to see and analyse, but a “normal” lecture, I take off my glasses what makes me nearly blind and I listen, I do not want to see these presentation-sheets, I am there to hear! Few deliver. [It’s like at court: The Lady is blind!] Tonight my friend was acceptable, I know that she can be really good. Shortly before the start she acknowledged being very nervous: It was not about the scientific acceptance – which is no question – the whole gig was about social acceptance. She did well.)
At some point – at the obligatory reception afterwards – I thought about how many people in this room I know – and it was quite a lot. I thought about my role in this play. The word “Rollenkonflikt” popped up in my head. Yes I like “Zelig“.
But besides the chameleon and the play of hide-and-seek one has to take a stand and define.

I am mago. I learned to think, to read, and to write.

P.s. from 3rd of December
As I was told by the sociologist it is not a “Rollenkonflikt” but a “Status-Inkonsistenz” what would describe my situation best. Do not know whether “Status-Inkonsistenz” in the long run leads to “Status-Diarrhoe”, “Status-Konstipation” or “Logorhoe”.


7 thoughts on “Ahasver

  1. The building I work in is kind of an odd one as it has been added on to at various times in its 45 year existence and is being added on to once again. The basement has a bit of a freaky feel at night but its actually pretty well lit throughout.

  2. AustereElasticity – yes: Heard about “Liquid lives” or something by a sociologist.Lily S.Some places I walk are dark, lit only by the emergency exit lights, greenish. At other sides it is plainly necessary to switch full lights on. Most nights are without things happening, between 2 and 3 I can not read anymore: There is about an hour of plain emptiness until the first people of the morning will show up around 4.30.

  3. holy snot am I out of my depth here or what? no clue. no clue whatsoever. You’re a security guard/university professor who was made to endure a rite of passage of some sort and it all happened at night, is the best i can figure. and you like Zelig. all well and good. now I must backread and put it all into some kind of context. Vicodin: its not a breakfast food, kids.(X!)

  4. AmandaJessas … Schweigt, Kinder: Die Mume spricht! You are an erudite person. Und hast mehr Weltwissen beisammen als ich jemals haben werde.FNWelcome and thank you for your first comment!I am no professor, just a magister artium. What is Vicodin? I know G. Vico and Codein, but that’s something for horses I guess. Did you read me answer over at MJ’s?

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