Oregon is for the weak!

Franconia est omnis divisa in partes tres …” That’s right today as it was two thousands years ago when Gaius Sinister wrote that opening sentence in his Historia Francorum – a work now lost. The Nuremberg humanists of the 16th century are saied to have known a last existing exemplar, but after the Bavarian annexion it vanished, maybe it went into street holes like so many other books the Bavarians had no use for.
To correct a mainly wrong image of Franconia as it is given here, I have to tell the truth about my beloved Heimat. Some people even deny the fact of Franconia’s existence and refuse to find it on maps, as Mr. Knudsen does. Franconia today mainly is the northern part of Bavaria and consists of three “Bezirke”: “Ober-, Mittel- und Unterfranken”. To the historical landscape of Franconia parts of Baden-Württemberg (“Badisch Franken”) belong up to the Rhine. It is the historical “Ostfranken” that was conquered by the Franconians from the sixth or seventh century onwards. “Rheinfranken” with the old Roman cities was the center for what became the Carolingian Reich. We know that as “Frankreich” today.
The true Franconian wears clothes and would never bring his beloved chainsaw into the living room – the sudden change of temperature could do harm to the motor oil. We invented beer, bread, the wheel, and cultivated the use of fire, firewater – you name it, we did it. Franconians always played a significant role in history, I find this list very un-satisfying. Some people really think it would be a good idea to restore an independent Franconia as political entity, what would mean to leave the “Freistaat Bayern”. Given the state of Bavarian politics, one could think about it. I would opt for an “anarcho-syndikalistisches Rätesystem”, that would fit the Franconian mentality – if such a thing exists – best.

Postscriptum: Just to convince you that Franconia exists, have a look here for the story of a bike-ride along the river Main. Yes, they mention beer.

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16 thoughts on “Oregon is for the weak!

  1. As I learned from googlemaps there is a Franconia in New Hampshire, between Lisbon and Bethlehem, north of Plymouth – oh Lord … – it may be an interstate I am not sure but the road is called “93”. No wonder that Americans do not get along outside the US – normally I may ad quickly, there is always Amanda.

  2. I’ll take that question, Franconians have three nipples just like the usual Germans but only 2 of their nipples actually produce beer.If only Franconians could all speak the same as each other.

  3. To be fair, it’s not all “sun and fun” in Franconia, there are different timezones. In the wild borderlands of the North its still Early Middle Ages and I know that traces of Druids can be found there. The third nipple is at least in those regions seen as a divine sign and healing forces are adscribed to it. Few know how to use it properly.

  4. I couldn’t find it on the map either so I had to go and see for myself. There IS a Franconia. Sometimes known as the Twilight Zone. This is < HREF="http://www.flensburg-online.de/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/hamburg-city-man-vor-rathaus.jpg" REL="nofollow">a typical German.<>This is < HREF="http://www.kar-lat-mar.de/fotos/Temmo%20Bosse/03%20Holzfaeller.jpghttp://www.kar-lat-mar.de/fotos/Temmo%20Bosse/03%20Holzfaeller.jpg" REL="nofollow">a Franconian.<> =)

  5. Impressive List.Alzheimer. Lehman. Goldman. Schaefer, as in the pen.Ohm as in that physics unit, so many ohms of energy. Linde, they have a company in India.You may notice, like a good Gujarati I see money first.Thank you for making me a little less ignorant of the world.

  6. AmandaSadly the holzfaeller does not work resp. visualize – is it a lumber jack of Monthy Python origin? And this typical German male is sooo Hamburgian … 🙂AustereOld Linde invented the “Kühlschlange” – please do not ask. I guess the company has kept the name as brand. I think money is not one of the strongest sides of Franconia, the rulers normally were flat broke with few notable exceptions.SavannahJust follow the 93 north, it’s west of Berlin …

  7. Mago did you not see a connection between your last two posts? In one they checked the land and in the other YOU were the land. It is amazing how the historians and explorors have ways to check all the recesses and streams in your body. (They can even tell if you drank beer not invented it!) They go from the mountains to the valleys-from your head to your butt. After all the doctors in 2008 I saw I couldn’t help but laugh.LONG LIVE MAGO!LONG LIVE FRANCONIAN! :o)

  8. Mago did you not see a connection between your last two posts? In one they checked the land and in the other YOU were the land. It is amazing how the historians and explorors have ways to check all the recesses and streams in your body. (They can even tell if you drank beer not invented it!) They go from the mountains to the valleys-from your head to your butt. After all the doctors in 2008 I saw I couldn’t help but laugh.LONG LIVE MAGO!LONG LIVE FRANCONIAN! :o)

  9. Franconia sounds like a pretty good place to me. I could tell you a little more about Oregon, though I haven’t been there. Lots of mountains, trees, and volcanoes. Hopefully the volcanoes will stay dormant. I don’t know if this is the Oregon you were talking about, so maybe I should be quiet. I tend to blather about stuff I know nothing about and end up looking like an idiot.

  10. Ok… you asked for it. ;DLets try again:This is < HREF="http://static.rp-online.de/layout/fotos/457x325/35218-ddp_0171CC00FF4C7194.jpg" REL="nofollow">a typical German.<>This is < HREF="http://www.landschaftsmuseum.de/Bilder/Neanderthaler-2.jpg" REL="nofollow">a Franconian.<>

  11. JoyceYEAH! All this exploring is driven by curiosity. And fun!And you make me blush!LilyI guess we mean the same Oregon. It’s actually the Oregon FirstNations was talking about, where she went in hiding. Just follow the first link in my post to her blog and look around: It’s fun and highly recommended.(http://1hplovecraft.blogspot.com/)And dear, you are no idiot. 🙂Amanda“You asked for it – blamm” Hach, the black series … Mike Hammer is with us!I disagree on both pictures. These nice looking men are possibly to be found in places like Cologne, Berlin or even Hamburg – not in the space in between, sadly enough.The “Franconian” is a Neanderthaler – they moved down South to the Alps and found a habitat there, the rest of Europe fell prey to the Cro Magnon. The invented personal hygiene and the use of fire – typical Franconians. The twilight zone is moving, sometimes it extends itself even into Hesse …

  12. Ok, I get it, you’re not into humorous symbolism. 😉So the Neanderthaler moved down to the South eh? That explains some things about the region. I still think that a Franconian has a bit of a Neanderthaler in him though. In a good way. 🙂PS. It’s true, die Schwarzen have taken over Hessen too. 😀

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