No caving in for the worn

Aw Rosie, where are ya? Sorry Prox, no folklore. There is too much shit going on right now I do not want to write about, I do not even want to think about. My current rhythm of working shifts derails me completely, I do not get things done. Maybe writing the billing for this month will make me smile.
Basically one can not deceide for other people. And sadly enough one can not force someone, say the director of a school for example, do his goddam’ duty. The world would be a better place if people would stick to their decisions, take responsibility and think BEFORE they act.

I am tired, angry and am sick of small men.

UP and away …

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26 thoughts on “No caving in for the worn

  1. No worries. The small men are growing always again. The bastard I was writing about, school director, was acting as a coward and brings down the renommee of that institute with amazing speed. Suffering from this is a young man I know pretty well and like. He’s to look for another school now to make his “abiturium”, to finish it properly. He did not fit in the way they wanted and let him fall like the proverbial “hot potato”. It is sad, because all that “humanistic approach” this school stands for goes bang when needed. And Super-direx simply acted like Himmler on a bad day. Not for the first time. I’ll write about that, it’s a problem on different levels, one is the generation of teachers and their own horizon of experience: Mine had lived through a totally different part of history and their images and pictures were formed f.e. as reaction to totalitarism. But I can not explain away a coward.Anyway.Shooting myself?Never.Morphium overdose in the “Palliativ Station”, the “Schmerz-Centrum” (pain center) as it now called, you know what I mean, but not one second before.Normally I can handle things and get along with nonsense and stupidity and non-empathy, but actually I am simply worn out, I can’t take shit and process it. A vacation would not solve the problem, a real job is the step in the right direction, and believe me, I try.What is written on that hat by the way?

  2. You know, reading your comments and posts makes me look words up… I had no idea what ‘abiturium’ was… but then I only know one language, and that is English. It wasn’t in my rather large dictionary so I had to google it. I have a very extensive vocabulary but am always pleased to learn new words. Thank you. 🙂How terrible that they didn’t ‘do right’ for that young man. But I do know how you feel… I get that a lot working as a nurse and see many patients ‘fall through the cracks’… it takes effort and dedication to be a patient advocate and most nurses are, but not all.Good. No shooting. And the morphine is reserved to end suffering at the last minute, when no recovery is possible. I am with you on that one… totally.I will keep my fingers crossed that a ‘real’ job comes your way soon.The hat says ‘Amsterdam’… I have a friend there who sent it to me.

  3. Greetings to Famulus 🙂“Falling through the cracks” puts it well. Now excuse me please, I will sleep. Tomorrow things need to be done like laundry, emails, another application, the wheel keeps spinning … thank you for your friendliness.

  4. Hmmm… how did you make <>that<> assumption? 🙂Sleep is a precious commodity for most of us. I don’t sleep long enough these days… it is hormonal and will eventually pass. But I do sleep solidly most of the time. I hope you sleep well… the wheel doesn’t stop spinning, even if we fall off… and you are most welcome. 🙂

  5. Whoever said that schools are a breeding ground of hope haven’t been in one lately. I don’t need to be a fortune-teller to know what will be in 50 years from now. Humanity will be dealing with pretty much the same carp as now. And small men will continue to be even more conceited than those who actually have a reason to be so. 😉

  6. Morning ev’rybody … what a night, ten hours of sweet dreamless nothingness – great!And no cul de paris in reach, MJ, just my own true pampelmousse. Austere, the good thing about this affaire is that he has to form, formulate and defend a position. He’s growing with it.Old K.Tricky wordery: “Small”, “little”, “big”, “great”. And there are Faulkner’s “Tall Men”, impressed me a lot when I read it first with 15 or 16.AmandaIch bin sehr froh Dich hier zu sehen. Saied director managed to bring the young man’s mother to a point where she left the school screaming. She is educated in “Gesprächsführung” and used to handle difficult personal situations. That bloke’s conceit, arrogance and inability to simply listen was much too much to bear. He mixes up auctoritas (authority, what is a strictly personal ability) with potestas (the “power” his office, his status gives him), what is not personal, but strictly connected with the position. Sadly enough you can buy potestas these days again, auctoritas is something like an emotion, emotional connection nobody can buy.I just read Radermachers and Bayers “Welt mit Zukunft. Überleben im 21. Jahrhundert”. They say we near us a point of no return, make or break … in fifty years I’d be 95. I seriously doubt that I will reach that age. There will always be small men, conceit … I only hope that I am able to minimize my own share of conceit, minimize the feeling of hate and fence in my tendency to rule over others.By the way, i wanted to embet DeVille’s Junker’s Blues, but was not allowed. What’s that? Don’t do this at home kids?

  7. Of course! Not safe for work? Bah – my desk is my castle.This ball-pumping leather macho makes me shiver, not in excitement!Now gone shopping, need some essentials for the next nightshift, guess …

  8. That Director is lucky I’m not the one falling through his crack! I’d rip him a new asshole!!!I usually warn men, “I bite, but only if you’re in to that sort of thing.” (smile slow and wickedly).This man would not get such a luxury, he would get the opposite, a mental castration.I can’t be a Saint <>all<> the time. Still human more or less…PrxSo do you feel like Perseus or Bubo in the 1981 classic “Clash of the Titans”? 🙂

  9. SavannahThank you – after the last week I really know how important sleep is!PonitaTo cite Old Knudsen: “Just call me “Allfather” … 🙂 No, it’s explained at yours and by MJ.I feel better. Last week’s work rhythm was terrible: One night through, one off, one on … I stumbled out on Saturday as if drunk, my colleague giving me strange glances. Forgot to give back some things, forgot my daily routine when coming home, simply collapsed and slept. Last night was easy, today I feel good. Just some hours tonight and then I am off for two days. I hope to get a contract tomorrow, we’ll see. Thank God the weather is better, there is even something like sunlight! So I go to town and have some ice cream – HA!

  10. Ice cream cures all, especially on a sunny day! I have dinner with my sister last night and we had stewed rhubarb with vanilla bean ice cream. Oh.My.GOD. That was sooooo good! I love rhubarb and getting some in the early spring was phenomenal. She gave me two bags of frozen rhubarb to take home. Now I will have to cook some up for myself.I am so glad you are feeling better. And I will keep my fingers crossed for your contract. There must be a better work schedule than what you’ve been doing! That would be taking years off your life…. not good.

  11. PonitaChili-chokolate. And if one wonders about that the fibers ion the chokolate ice cream, it’s parts of chili peppers. Yoh! Rhubarb? On cakes, with egg-white … but I am not good at sweets, except marzipan, I never do make good doughs.Just emailed the man I wnat to work for, our meeting was always delayed from January to February and the last thing was that I’d say hello end of March – so now let’s hope that the great man will find some time for me. But I am pretty optimistic!KahlessI had to look up “job-worths”. It fits in part: We are talking about the director of that school, so his ahead of the pecking order, not down. But things must be done according to the book, even when it’s plain silly. But the thing that annoys me most is his cowardice: he refused to write his name under a paper answering some questions about how things are done, how to go on – he promised to do that, held the paper back and finally made a teacher sign it.The bloke is a controll-freak. He insists that the “Abi-Streich”, the traditional prank the pupils do after having finished the tests and gotten the results, is presented written and detailed two weeks before. Jausa … a scream of creativity. The tone within the school changed a lot. It’s order and obey. And that is NOT what a “humanistisches Gymnasium” stands for. The young man will finish at another school.It’s important that he sees that things can be different.

  12. What a world. I don’t have much advice for coping with people, other than walking away. I hope you are getting some rest, some sun shine, and enjoying the music. Things will change. They always do:)

  13. <>Saied director managed to bring the young man’s mother to a point where she left the school screaming.<>Sadly such stories are far from uncommon. I am personally aware of situations which make mine look like a ride in the joypark.Is there anything I can do? Reading School law is one of my past-times, don’t ya know?

  14. No complaints on the music. Honestly these days I’m built rather like Rosie of Whole Lotta Rosie fame. If anyone has a problem with that I’ll power slam them against a wall. Problem is, they might like it.

  15. PortiaThat’s true, things always change. Good to see you here!AmandaI think things are going right now. Your friendly offer is very much appreciated!Lily*SPLATT – thank ya dear* – HUAHAA … albern, I know …

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