Nights

I’ve done it now for 17 months with a full contract, and maybe half a year part time before. It is all night work, starting nearly every day at different times, maybe at 18:00, 21:00 or 23:00. Sometimes even in the early afternoon. With rounds at different objects, or not, and with awful 12 hour shifts at the weekends, day and night. No regularity, no rhythm. The basical  payment for the hour is lousy, only additions for night, weekend or holyday make ends meet.
I do not want to do it any longer. For different reasons. First I change. I am becoming more and more grumpy. My ability to read shrinks: Maybe half a year ago I could correct texts until 2 or 3 in the morning, I was able to write own texts. My concentration becomes weaker. There is always a dark hour maybe between 3 and 4 in the morning, that depends on winter- or summer-time, on the shift-plan, but this dark hour becomes longer.
The second reason is the fact that we are not alone anymore. That may sound strange, but some weeks ago I came to work and people looked important, never a good sign. To make a long story short they have a special storage unit and some awefully important and highly secret stuff must be guarded there. (After less than 24 hours anybody only remotely connected with this area knew what they have there. So much for non-disclosure.) And they put some blokes for this job into the main post. So no more reading, writing, loud or quiet classical music, punk at three or loud singing. Instead of intellectual solitude I face endless “hit”-muzag from some silly and nerve-wrecking blabla-station or – even worse – the soundtrack of cheap animated splatter-movies: It always goes like “cling” “bang” “buöörg” and someone splatters innards over the laptop-screen. There are discussions of political matters of subterranean level. And an air of violence I absolutely disgust.

Let’s see what the next week will bring.

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14 thoughts on “Nights

  1. I can tell how much you hate this job and I can’t blame you. There came a time just before I was to retire with a pension that I almost quit. I would have lost alot so I stuck it out. Can you get away from the job for a few days. It may make it easier to handle for you.
    Or can you get something else? I want so much for you to feel better. A big hug is coming thru cyper space from me to you.

  2. Oh honey.

    Many, many hugs.

    I’m hoping that between the lines, there lies an exit strategy and you find a way out of this.

    You’ve had enough and it’s time for a change.

    My fingers and toes are crossed for you that you find the way out that will allow you to be yourself, pay your bills and indulge you and those you care for occasionally.

  3. The broken solitude and the intrusions do seem untenable. That would make me extremely grumpy too.

    Will you bide your time for a bit and wait and see? I could understand doing that too. Hopefully something more suited to you will come along soon!

  4. An irregular schedule on night shift is the worst. The only thing worse might be a rotating shift. I remember in July when my supervisor had me working that crackhead every other night schedule. Granted, I have a mental illness anyway, but I generally don’t see things that aren’t there. I was seeing things and becoming confused as to what was real and what wasn’t. It was a scary feeling. Lack of sleep can cause mental status change in even the most stable of people.

  5. Its easy to say leave that job. Not so easy to eat air and sleep in the open Unfortunately we do what we have to do to survive. I hope it gets better for you somehow , someway

  6. Hmm.
    I don’t think just a few days away will help much.
    You have to find a way to get out.
    If it means pulling on some more time, so be it. This is what I have done.

    You could always come to India- its cheaper.And there’s sunshine.

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