Two or three days ago I sat at my desk and it made “ping”. Something had changed and I did not realize what it was until my left eye started to water . Taking down the glasses I noticed that they were a bit wobbly and further inspection revealed that two parts of metal gap: Nothing fell out, but it sits now a bit awkward. Where two metal parts are soldered together too much tension built up and the connection gave in. Maybe the temperatures played a role, I had come in from the cold just a short time ago.
Today I received a letter from someone to whom I owe money. I pay it back by monthly instalments. Without further address he lists that I once payed less than promised, and that on another occasion the cash was two days late on his account. Nothing else. I have no clue what that shall mean – and I dare say, I don not care. At least he wrote his name on the paper.
To put this nonsense into perspective:
A close friend waits for the results of the medical examination of her beloved mother.
Another friend I was speaking to on the phone this evening, told me that she had been close to suicide in the course of this year, seriously, because of the constant payne she has in her body. I know her for years, a petite woman bit older than me; the last time I saw her she at least could walk alone and already looked like a victim from the camps. Now it is even worse. I hope to see her tomorrow evening, if she is able to come to a pizzeria, where our old prof holds an informal meeting. We will probably have to carry her in.
Broken spectacles, a wanna-be-loan-shark to settle, and whatever comes my way – it is nothing compared to the fear through the helpless and worrying wait for possible seriously bad news, or to bodily payne that drives you on the brink of suicide.
Tomorrow evening I will know more.