Progress Hardly Measurable

A neighbour showed up carrying a laptop. It does not work she says, if it would be possible to have a look – ? Interestingly it is possible to squeeze a battery into the absolutely fitting compartment the wrong way. A cable was missing (three €), and then trouble began. Trouble is called windows 8. The lady had her machine bought in 2012 and since then it gathered dust, roughly one hundred security updates went by unnoticed. And of course there is no account nowhere – but it is not possible to open an account either ! Google simply rejects the whole thing and does not even allow chrome to be downloaded. A German web hosting company refuses to open an email account – I come to think that it is the computer of the damned.
By Eduscho (!), coffee roasters. Why oh why do people buy their computers from a coffee firm ? Do I buy my car from my tailor – “Ah yes, gimme another Ford with that suit please”.
In extremis the decision was made to start the auto-repair – it’s only a matter of days now. After that auto-repair it’s security updates again and a prayer.
All this was fun twenty five years ago when a new windows came out or experiments with anything Linux took place. It’s no fun today, and one should be less friendly. A bit at least.


18 thoughts on “Progress Hardly Measurable

  1. Windows 8? [crosses self despite being non-religious]
    She doesn’t have the product key to register Win8? Perhaps she can contact MS Product Support?
    If she does get it registered, she needs to download and install Win8.1 (free) ASAP.

  2. Well, it was very nice of you to take a look and help your neighbor out. I applaud your patience and taking the time to provide assistance. Though, I totally agree with you about NOT buying a computer from a coffee company. My old laptop still uses Windows XP happily. I’ve tried Windows 8 and I don’t like it. Sure, it may look fun on touchscreens, but I hate swiping touchscreens, because it leaves all these dirty and greasy prints on the screen! Also, I still type faster on a keyboard than on the screen. For now, Windows 8 seems to me to be better suited to smart phones or smaller tablet screens, and NOT for laptops or bigger computer screens.

    Good luck on the laptop repairing itself. If it fails, then she may have to do some research at the library and read up on reformatting her laptop–hopefully, she has the computer manual and installation and Operating System CDs to make it easier. If not, it may be time to seek out a professional and hope it won’t cost an arm or a leg! I hope you have a great week!

  3. Asked what she’d like to do with her computer she saied “no internet – too dangerous ; but have a look at this “www”-thingy” (“ma gugg, des wwww-Zeuch odder wie des hesst”), so I rest my case your Honour LX.

    Yes it was a mistake by MS to think that everybody wants a touchscreen. I once sat in a big new BMW on the front passenger seat, really shiny car, posh interíeur – big touch screen with a nice fat booger dangling – I barely avoided to puke. Many things nowadays are done via touch screens, public ones, I really do not want to touch them.
    I wonder whether it is possible to use a leather glove instead. The system works with the skin’s electric resistance I think – so it should be the same whether it is a living human skin or a dead pig skin.
    I personally would flat the whole surface of the hard drive and install a trusted win7 or go adventurous and use BSD – ha ! Have a good week Eroswings.

  4. My daughters’ computer uses XP and I’m jiggered if I’m paying 70/80 pounds for Windows 8.0, installing it, then installing 8.1 over the top! All their files are going on a DVD and then I’m putting Mint on it, which they use quite happily on my computer when they’re here. Free, reliable, safe, and works out of the box, even on old computers.

    Mind you, we’re all the creek anyway now, Linux or not, because of the Heartbleed problem.

  5. I doubt my cronky old laptop works anymore… it had XP… I loved it though until it got sick with a virus. RIP XP laptop. Soon you’ll be able to buy them with coffee at Starbucks.

  6. XP is now dead and no longer supported, despite about a third of PCs worldwide still using it. So… Windows 7. I went from a decade with XP (which I really liked) to Win7 and have had no issues whatsoever. I keep hearing so many horrible things about Win8 that I think I will bypass that like I did Vista. Heard too many horror stories about that one to even bother. So when I need a new computer in the future, I will have to really watch what OS is online at that time. Why anyone would not want to connect to the internet is beyond me, but she obviously is not computer savvy at all, that friend of yours! Good luck. It might be like trying to resurrect the dead.

  7. Mint seems to be a nice alternative Looby. I had a look at their site – and it looks all very promising. I think I’ll give it a try, a trial run first.
    This heartbleed problem is really big ! First I thought “oh what’s the matter”, but the problem is that not only some data are open, but all the tools are faulty.

    Why not install a linux version, MsScarlet ? It gets rid of all the Microschuft, virus included, and works basically on any computer. And it’s free. You just need to have a cd or DVD, try it first and if it works install it over the old operating system.

    I would not touch “8” with a stick, “8.1” works fine, if the machine has enough kahumpf, but it’s sooo damn big. I use “7” in different versions on different machines and it is reliable and all, can’t say nothing against it, dear Ponita.

    I will spare remarks about your knob, my lovely Norma, and can honestly say that you look a million, dear, regardless of your forty years !

  8. I will look into it… then come back and ask you lots of questions… there will be much gnashing of teeth (you) and much wailing (me), and then I will retreat back to the iPad and continue to poke it with my defective nipple pen.
    Perfect sense, as ever,
    Ms Scarlet xxxx

  9. Nipple, ahem … I think you are perfect in any respect, dear MsScarlet !

    Hello and welcome, Mr. Peenee, thank you for your first comment here.
    “Computers” are those nasty machines all those poor souls around the world do stare in, so basically other people’s problems : Sophisticated people stare at MJ’s pics or Scarlet’s nibs.

  10. If you wonder where I’ve been for the past couple of weeks, I had to call a friend to install Windows 8 for me and a new Photo programme as well.

    I’m still getting used to all the changes.

    I’ve been in a mood, needless to say.

    I want to go back to knobs, like Norma said.

  11. I did the less, dear Z.

    Thank you Austere.

    Thankfully it was not only coffee, LGS.

    I’m pleased that you are back Mistress MJ ! And I’m sure you are perfect in turning knobs.

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