It’s a strange thing how we play along here on the web with our personalities and anonymity. Over time one develops a kind of internet alter ego, this figura or persona may be close to the real existing person or not, that’s an individual thing. Like an actor and his role.
Ed O’NEILL (Ger., Eng.), better known as “Al Bundy” (Ger., Eng.), once said that there is something of his own personality in the artificial persona (pretty much in fact), but it would be totally wrong to identify them. O’NEILL’s crux is – as it was and is for many other actors – that he always will be “Al Bundy” in the public eye. Whatever this “public eye” may be ; possibly a bored gossip writer in a sleazy newsroom … Would it be more convenient to imagine this writer awfully drunk or badly hung over ?
Of late I was trawling some gossip sites and looked at youtube and stuff, and always some person wanted to stick their tongue at me or hold their arse into my direction. Yes, I may be terribly behind and out of date – it’s all so last February.
But nevertheless,  the columns of the Daily Gossip for example are full of big arses of women, who are famous for having big arses. And other people, stars, starlets or F-celebrities, stick their tongues out. Or take photographs of themselves with other people in the picture (not so much, it’s only distracting, innit?) displaying body parts, trying desperately to be “sexy”, “erotic” or “interesting” – basically it’s just a cry for attention: I am here ! I am alive ! I live when you watch me. I am dead when you look away.
Sounds a bit like a robot program, perhaps for injured people, that only works when it’s needed and goes into hiding when it’s not called upon. Press the button (didn’t seventies mafia killers refer to themselves as “button men” ?), or simply look into this direction, and the arse twerking, tongue sticking, fake tanned bronzed zombie will shake whatever is there to shake. Or will pervert & reduce the fine art of self-portrait to “taking” a “selfie”. Like NIKE, the Greek deity of victory, was reduced to a hook on a gymnastic shoe.

Sometime in 1959 Saul STEINBERG (Ger., Eng.) took a brown paper back and draw an expression on it. Then he put it on his head. Inge MORATH* (Ger., Eng.) took some photographs. It’s called the “Mask Series“.
I am not STEINBERG ; the photographer is not MORATH – so whatever it’s worth, here is my “selfie”, tongue-less and twerk-free.




I fear I am a sorry old geezer now. But on the other hand I may only be in a mood. And because I am in a mood, here is some music to enjoy, all twenty minutes of it: Listen to Mr HALL, Mr DESMOND, and floating above them all, Mr. BAKER.

And whoever feels the need to stick out a tongue … shake their arse to me … oh dear … we’ve already seen it, darling … “eros” means not ramming it into the audience’s face !
But, on the other hand – I’m just another idiot with a paper bag on his head.

Vroum !

* I wrote about her and her picture of “Ms. Nash” here.

15 thoughts on “Arses

  1. Excuse me while I squeeze by you to get to your books…
    I had forgotten about the mask series. What an ingenious idea that was. I do think yours is just as good.
    Knowing bloggers as their anonymous selves on the blog as well as their real selves on fb, for example, I find that there is always whole lot of difference. If they are political on the blog, it bleeds into fb. If they are reflective or quirky I find they are the same on fb.
    I do crinch, however, when certain of my young cousins take selfies. It’s all duck lips and … arses… sigh.

  2. Al Bundy is my hero for having scored four touchdowns in a single game!

    I especially enjoyed that Married With Children perversely turned the typical U.S. sitcom on its head.

  3. I’ve always had a big arse. One would think I’d be far more famous!
    Actually, I’ve never cared much for the idea of having people in general think I’m “sexy.” If there was someone that I was involved with, it would be nice to have him think I was sexy in an intimate situation. Other than that, the thought of having random people perceive me as “sexy” feels kind of invasive. Not that I’m in much danger of this happening. As Ozzy Osbourne said when he was voted “Sexiest Male Rocker” in the early 1980’s” “I find the idea that people think I’m sexy fucking hilarious.”
    Those celebrity gossip sites tend to trigger my bulimia–not because I care about looking like the latest pop tart or starlet du jour, but because the sleazy gossip and creepy pictures make me want to barf!
    I too am an out of touch old fart, and the older I get, the more I like it!

  4. You look gorgeous, Mr Mags, with or without the paper bag.
    Yes, it’s all getting a bit much, isn’t it? What happened to the power of mystery, that’s what I’d like to know.
    I agree with Cie, I’m mostly enjoying getting older. There are definite advantages.

  5. You can join Austere there, dear Foam

    I wonder whether this qualified him for the “Hall of Fame” ? Did Polk Highschool honour him in some way, like naming a bicycle shed after him or something ? Everybody names bacteria and stuff after Zappa, Guthrie et al. – there is even some moon in another galaxy called “Motörhead” – why not after Al Bundy ? It’s just not fair LX !

    You are cultivating curmudgeoness since the start of the new millenium, Cie : You’re my hero !

    I am still looking for that advantages, dear MsScarlet

    Are you sure that I’m not one of these women, Mitzi ?

    Just follow Foam, dear Austere

  6. Why do the ladies want to look at your bookshelf so much? Do they love your mind more than your butt? I for one am please to meet your paper bag but wonder what you had in it before your head. Was it nuts?
    I think it is safe to say that I am very different from my blog squirrel persona ……..or am I?

  7. I am not sure what was in that paper bag before it was allowed to grace me, dear Lone Grey Squirrel. I just had a bread that contains full nuts, it was very delightful !

  8. Well, I say–I thought I’d gone to the wrong site when I saw the title! Or I thought you were trying to be clever with Latin.

    I agree–there’s a time and a place for an arse and a tongue but Facebook selfies are not it.

  9. I was just getting ready to send you a photo of my bare arse but I’ve changed my mind since reading this.
    Nice “crew cut” hairstyle, by the way. Very 1950s.
    Yes, we ladies want to see your books. American filmmaker John Waters said, ‘We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them.’

  10. I’m far from clever, dear Looby

    Fröhliche Ostern, Haserl LX !
    These creatures are definitely on the wild side. Left some impression on the children’s mind …

    Bbut the world deserves to see your bar arse, Mistress MJ !
    My haircut is long overdue, the receding hairline does not help, it gets more and more eighties, Vokuhila (vorne kurz hinten lang), i think you call it a mullet, just without the short in front. In fact it looks more and more like an egg. Kudos to Mr. Waters btw.

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