I feel lousy.
Whatever bit me last weekend, it is mean. The terrible irritation is gone, but the cough now sits really deep inside and hurts. I eat three grams of antibioticum a day, and do not feel that it helps. At least I can sleep, oh yes : Usually, when working, I try to make sure that I have at least five or six hours sleep, and this works. Now I go to bed and sleep for ten hours – blanked out, gone, for ten (!) hours.
What makes me wonder is that sometimes I have the feeling that time is slowing. Everyone knows the surprise when a look at the clock proves that more time is gone as felt, as expected. For example when one reads on the web, allows distractions etc. – one looks at that round thing on the wall and it is more than one hour gone. It feels like “just some time”, but time went fast.
I encountered several times over the last days that time slowed down. I was reading articles, following links – all the usual – and had the feeling that e.g. an hour had passed – in fact it was only thirty minutes. This may on the first look be “nice”, but I find it pretty unsettling. It means that my feeling for time is finally wrong.
What alarms me a bit is that “being awake” and “sleep” … sometimes both states seem to overlap a bit more than usual, being awake consciously frazzles out on the edge. As long as I still sit here, or lay in a horizontal position, this is no big deal, but it can not be allowed to go on.
I have no clue if & if so, how, these two perceptions are connected. All I know is that I sit here, cough and wheeze, and I can not say that it got better since I saw my doc for the last time. On Frayday, when he gave me without any discussion the antibiotics. He wanted to give me a sick note for next week, but I refused. Now I think this was hasty.
I should work on Wednesday again, and have had the fair hope that until then … But as I feel now, as cougher extraordinaire who produces quality slime, and collapses after roughly four hours – that is when the brain shuts down for an hour or so – I am not that sure anymore. I think I will ask for some additional days off. The idea to drive a vehicle with a bunch of kids is really out of reach now, in the end a no go, it would be irresponsible.
Today, when not sleeping or staring into the Franconian wilderness, I clicked through this website, and liked it : Historical photographs from a private collection, mostly late 19th and early 20th century, images of North-American origin. I wandered through 2009 to 2012, and will see the rest too, making stupid comments.
This Sunday Music also has music, but first of all it is a documentary, called Nettezza Urbana, city cleaning, directed by Michelangelo ANTONIONI (Ger., Eng.) (1912-2007). Yes the director of Blow Up (with David HEMMINGS appearing as a piece of wood) and Zabriskie Point (that at least has an acceptable soundtrack).
Now lets follow the men who clean the capital. There is only one capital of the world : Roma.
Maybe Pejing will come close in the near future.
I hope you have a quiet, clean & healthy week ahead.
I feel lousy.