mago

Thank You For Listening

It was the best of trips, it was the worst of trips.
Clean waggons, not overcrowded, just some middle aged blokes dotted around who wanted their quiet ; no squeaky kids ; no always phoning important-men ; silence even ; sunshine, rain, landscape ; just a train doing its job.
Arriving & walking through the city on a normal working day’s afternoon, just watching the hustle, have a snack and step aside, in the sunshine, it’s so easy …
Getting back to this place, no it’s not the darkest coldest hell, but when you come from a place of light & love, warmth & happiness, it is a little step down the scale. And when you are tired & a little bit bonked, and look around & ask yerself, does this stuff belong to me ? Is THIS me ? Then it may start to feel a bit … peculiar ? I will not list where the things around me come from, in the end it nearly all is inherited, or gifted, or just left over. The exception are the books, their shelves, and the computer. It should not be a big deal to move this stuff around.
It was the crappiest trip at all, because I left behind all I love.
I just need to transfer this silly book repository to another place. Or to make a cut and get rid of all the nonsense here at all, preferably in one go : Just some hours of action and no look back.
Is this just an easy and cheap escape phantasey, fuelled by Sylvaner and hybris ?
I do not know. I know meself pretty well after more than fifty years on this heap of wonder. Perhaps I am just waiting for a chance. But as usual, I am my own worst enemy. All I know now is that I have to stay healthy, get on with the situation I have at hands and work to change it, but this is just the “always normal” I think, for all and everyone.
So, nothing special here, I just returned from a good place, and want to get back.

Standard

10 thoughts on “Thank You For Listening

  1. Your musical selections always so perfect to the topic! Coming back to a place is a sort of let down when it isn’t the place you really want to be in or at. Your “good place” is waiting for you and you’ll know when the time is right to make that trip back. xoxox

    p.s. regarding all the stuff you now have, I know that feeling all too well! 10 years in this house and I think we’ve acquired far too much!

  2. You know that I love you Savannah.
    More sooner than later I’ll have to move. I still have no clear idea or a plan about it, but I know that I’ll do this. And what does not fit into a hired transporter will get shoved aside. Seriously, I can not “things” allow to rule over what I do, especially over what I see as the right thing to do. Things are not memories – in the end all is in my head, in my brain – and GOd knows that I’d like to erase some of these memories anyway.

  3. I am excited for you! I can understand what you’re saying. Sometimes, you just need a change. So follow your guts and your heart. Life is too short and time stops for no one. So do what makes you happy. Take that chance! I have always regretted not following my heart and taking another path or doing something because that’s the way it’s been done or because I let other people pressure me. Not anymore.

    I’ve learned that I am always going to be happier and better following my own dreams, doing what I believe is right, and listening to my heart, my gut, my instincts. It’s your life. Live it the way you want to live it!

    And I also love the music choice. It’s a fantastic song!

  4. I hope you find your way to your happy place and that everything works out well for you.
    Meanwhile, you have reminded me that I really need to hire a skip – so much I need to let go of in my life.
    Sx

  5. I don’t know what to say, Herr Mago, other than: I listened. To both you and Beverley Knight (great song). However, another plus point to living in Suebia that you didn’t mention, is that you’ll be nearer to Herr LẌ’s Lake Como villa (just watch out for his pole-dancing squirrels)!

    P.S. I see you have a new header image. It does not look like those in my recent post…

  6. Thank you Eroswings.

    Thank you DInahmow.

    Thank you MsScarlet – ahja, the skip …

    Thank you eichhörnchen LẌ – it is on one hand tremendously funny to see the little furry critter fail, on the other hand it’s tragic and the most concise illustration of the conditio humana possible.

    Thank you IDV, next time I’ll bath my feet in the lago I’ll think of Norfolk …

  7. A great big hug for you , my friend. You sound sad. maybe call an old friend? One who can make you laugh/cry at the same time. Or watch a movie that lets you freely cry, no one has to know. Find some way to change negative stress to eustress (a type of stress that can release positively) so that the negative stress does not build to the point of physically breaking your heart (a heart attack). I am working on my novel. I am more focused than I have been in years so I am spending a lot less time on the internet. You can always email me though. I can spam you with pictures of kittens if you like. They do not need a litter box!

  8. Thank you Melanie, yes a bit bue. No worries, I will not stress allow to come so near to me again, I do not need another heart attack, one is enough really.
    I am glad to hear that your writing is going well right now ! I hope it prevails and you keep the flow. Thank you for the kind offer of a kitten overflow – actually I look at tons of pictures / photographs and cull my way through them. I am happily discovering the wonders of metadata, so that I have a chance to structure the amount, form some groups etc. The best remedy against the “little blue” is to do something, perhaps it will lead to something creative … Keep on writing, my friend !

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