Pizza With All

I may have mentioned here my neighbour, who sits in a wheelchair. Every few months we talk about having a pizza, delivered from the local soccer club’s pub. Monday is pizza day there, and every round flat cake is notably cheaper, delivery in the village included. This Monday they were sold out at 18:00. I decided that we would have the marvellous spciality on Tuesday, simply because we had been talking about this for months, always something came up, and I wanted to put an end to this endless saga of missed opportunities.
So my neighbour phoned for pizze on Tuesday, and it was delivered by the man who always delivers pizze. We had a little chat, I had asked about business. He said that on Monday the pub was allowed to open, they got all permissions and had followed the rules – one single guest showed up. But they were working like madmen with the take away / home delivery.
Then he realy got excited and told me that there is no virus at all. He had worked as cabdriver before the “lockdown”, he had international guests like Chinese, Japanese and other people, no one was sick. He did not get sick, nobody wore masks. Pointing to his homemade device that was dangling around his neck, he said : “This is only for the law.”
There is no virus, and in the end it is a conspiration of “the gouvernments”, worldwide. I looked dumfounded, and he delivered the final blow : They want to get rid of Trump. “Twentyseven hotels and golf courses are closed, they want him to go banquerott !”
Besides this imho fully acceptable endeavour, it is their chance to cement their rule and take away all civil freedoms, because there will be compulsory vaccination soon, and “when you get an injection, you will be chipped like a cat !” I really did not understand what he meant and said so, and he demonstarted to me how this evil operation would happen. He formed his left hand to a fist, showed me where the injection would happen, and slap-bang there is a chip in your body that enables constant surveillance. He litterally crouched himself down to the ground and gesticulated upwards to show me how “they” would watch over him. But of course, novody will chip him ! He will rip this demonish artifact out of his body, it may be as payneful as it may be, but he will pay this price for his freedom.
I did not ask for further details. These were enlightening five minutes before my neighbour’s door, thankfully no reptiloids involved.
It was my first encounter with a full grown man, who believes seriously in these phantastic theories. I am still baffled.

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13 thoughts on “Pizza With All

  1. One of the effects of this virus seems to be to liberate the mouths of all the lunatics. I’ve heard more rubbish since early March than in any Spring before.

    However, I still think that listening to a few minutes of utter codswallop is worth it for a pizza delivery, which is one of the highest points of contemporary European culture :)

  2. It was a nice performance, no doubt, dear Dinahmow.

    Yes, in a certain way it all comes together, culminates in this episode : The technological development, revolutions even, since the late 17th century ; the century long broadening of Italian cuisin ; the whole European idea – it all culminates in this sequence when a man of Easter European origin explains to me his truth, while he brings me something to eat : Deus Vult ! There is nothing else possible.

  3. Yes, finally mother nature’s long lost answer – thank you very much Autolycus ! Now can you tell me how to make a toad vomit ? I think it is a rare incidence. In order to speed up healing mankind we need to induce it, maybe on a large scale, like toad farms, toad vomit transporter tankers bringing the stuff to the production line, to be mixed with the pulverised toad and other fine ingredients. Crunchy Frog, maybe …

  4. Well, he would fit right in with a few people I know around here. He would probably be a Libertarian (a fringe political party here in the U.S.) One such friend of mine emailed me in concern that protesters were going into suburban areas and raping women and damaging buildings. (There are certain men who like this “hero theme” story in their heads “We must save the women from being raped!”)

    So I remind him of the time I folded all 6″ 5′ (195cm) of him up and shoved him into a little Geo Metro car and drove him home because he was angry at a guy who “stole” his stupid girlfriend. Good riddance! I don’t need to be saved by anyone and there is no crazy going on here in my quiet suburban neighborhood.

  5. “Conspiracy pizza” for vegans, we may have stumbled into a world (B) eating sensation.
    All the best,
    N

  6. Damn Melanie, all those knights in their shiny armour, you say they all wait in vain !?

    I am sure that this vegan cook (forgot his name, he was arrested in Berlin last week ; Attila or something ?) already has a recipe for this Nikos. In the end the world is a pizza, flat and barren.

    Don’t look in its eyes IDV ! Or you’ll wake up inside the bin one day, IF you are lucky …

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