The Cherry On Top

A bit of a rant, sorry. The last week or so just was ; there were strong emotions, a bit of drama, good times, a mixed bag of life. And lately something that vexes me seriously.
As I surely have mentioned earlier here, I live in a multi-party-house (I doubt that this word exists in English, it is the direct translation of the German “Mehrparteienhaus”), a block of flats with more than seventy tenants. A lot of fluctuation in the one-room-appartements, mostly rented to students, but on the other hand those who live here for longer than a few years learn to know each other and there is good neighborhood (“gute Nachbarschaft”). Usually.
On Tuesday morning we put out some things that should be removed from the appartement : A wooden chair beyond repair, a broken hoover, a small white cupboard I always hated, a thirty year old green desk chair with a defective mechanism and worn cushions. I put these things just to the right of my door in the “Flur”, the public space, I think hall is the usual word for this area. Accidentially the janitor dropped by, and I told him that I’d drive the things to the skip on Thursday or Frayday, he just waved and said “As long as I know …”, so all fine. He usually does not like things amassing in the hall, first because this is all defined as emergency exit (“Fluchtweg”), and second because he does wipe the floor once a week and then the stuff is in his way.
On Wednesday evening we returned late to the appartement after a visit to another neighbour, and noticed that the green desk chair was gone. I was not angry, but felt, well : miffed may be correct – a’ weng ang’fressen. It was my property I had put out there, and just because it is outside my appartement it does not stop to be in my possession. If one likes to have something, he she or it should ask. And if I am not here, leave a notice, like “Hello – I want to have this chair. Call me under this number …” And a “please” would also be nice. But just grab & go ? The lady next door has a nice pram besides her appartement door – do you simply take it away because you like it ? The name for this is theft.
It is a different thing when the community announces that bulk rubbish (“Sperrmüll”) will be carried away : Bring all that old furniture & clobber to the roadside, it will be collected and brought to the skip for free. In this case it is clear that the people who bring out the stuff do throw it away, and usually nobody will call it theft when someone takes something for his own, and carries it away. But inside the house, just next to my door ?
I plan to renovate my kitchen, which is of very limited space. I will have to put some things outside juat to be able to turn around – do I have to chain my fridge to the wall ?
Anyway, the small anger was outweighed by the now non-necessity to bring the cumbersome chair to the local “Müllplatz”, nowadays called recycling depot. And together with some other stuff I was given by a neighbour, that was what I did on Frayday. My vehicle has been resting for four weeks now, and it needed a bit of a run to bring all back to working order before passengers board, and I was allowed a skip stop by my dispatcher*.
Today I left my appartement to be greeted by the green chair, standing innocently (and cleaned) some meters away from my door. So it was not good enough for my stealing neighbour. If he, she or it (HeShIt ?) had asked me I would have pointed out that the mechanism is not working anymore, that the whole thing is beyond repair. (You do not want to sit on those thirty years old pads – if you start to replace them, or repair that gas spring, you can buy a new chair : “Recycling” that thing is not worth the effort, I mentioned this above, did I ?)
A little bit of thinking possibly could have led HeShIt to the idea that there is a reason why I put that thing outside my door – to do with it whatever I want to. And now I feel seriously pissed off (sorry) : Not only does HeShIt steal my old desk chair, but has the nerve to bring it back because it is not good enough. I feel absolutely no inclination to drive to the local civic waste collection point again. And it is generally a lousy state of things when you can not put something next outside your door (inside the damn house !) and trust that it is still there the next morning.

* I actually do work as a co-driver, we are far away from our regular schedule etc. I just act as stand-in. And yes, it all starts to get on my nerves. I start to sound like an old geezer.

14 thoughts on “The Cherry On Top

  1. HeSheIt should keep the swag and “recycle” it hesheitself. If the mechanics were okay I’d never have seen the damn chair again, selfish basted. I surely do not want to ask for permission to use my vehicle again – that’s okay every blue moon, but not every wek

    Thank you for the nice words DInahmow, let’s skip the whole episode.

  2. You could draw an angry face on a piece of paper and tape it to the chair. Then everyone will know you are unhappy that it went off on an adventure without you AND had the audacity to come back! When you put your kitchen items out you can put a piece of paper on it with the international symbol for “No”.

  3. MsScarlet NEVER shall be silenced !

    I could hire a hound dog for some days ? ! Wuff ! Wuff ! Or could just put up a sign reading : Do not take my kitchen away ! This is a haunted kitchen, you fool ! HAHAHAHA
    But I think this would be too sophisticated. What is the international sign for “no”, Melanie ? A fake handgranade would be good …

  4. I’m sure the “potato masher” (what American soldiers called the German grenades in WWII) would cause confusing and possible evacuation delaying your project. It is better to go with the symbol who has all its proper paperwork, pedigree and shots. 🚫 (red circle with a diagonal slash)

    Also, the housing you describe is (a.) “dormitory” if it is on a school or religious campus, or (b.) “tenement” which is now usually public housing in the U.S. and in the American mind is for poor people. Whether you are American tenement poor or German standard housing average I love you either way, my friend.

    When I first met my husband he was living in an old tenement building in Seattle in a tiny room with a kitchenette and shared bathroom on the second floor. I hated having to share that one bathroom with so many people. If I wanted a shower before going to work I’d have to get up at 3:30am/4am to beat the crowd. One toilet and one shower for 24 apartments!

  5. What a cheek! And the audacity of bringing the chair back, too.
    Perhaps next time, slap a sticker or somesuch on each item with a brief description: “Fecal accident occured here”, “Danger: Asbestos”, or “Spider Infested”…

  6. I’m just one of those poor in spirit, dear Melanie. The situation you describe in the in Seattle sounds more like Berlin “Mietskaserne” before WWI (picture) than late 20th century USA. But as the article says, 1960s Berlin was not that btter : “Sanitation was inadequate: in a survey of one area in 1962, only 15 percent of apartments had both a toilet and a bath or shower; 19 percent had only a toilet, and 66 percent shared staircase toilets.”

    “Don’t open the fridge !” “Keep Jar Closed !” “NO, it is not what it looks like !” “Bucket over here” “Thank you, and Goodbye ! We hope you enjoyed your vist !” End title, Norwich sands, awwwwhhhh … Directed by P. Greenaway.

  7. Yes, the building was a relic of a different era which is why it was one of the only affordable places in downtown. It has been knocked down now, the soul was stolen by Paul Allen who put a parking lot there instead. :(

    @Inexplicable Device – I comment on you baubles post some days ago. Was it unacceptable? Or perhaps Blogger is still mad at me for leaving all those years ago and marked me as spam?

  8. Do you refer to the microsoft Allen, dear Melanie ?
    “They put up a parking lot” – I can hear the singer, a female voice, she laughs at one pont, and I forgot her name. As the stoty goes she travelled to Hawai, aririved at night, expected to see “jungle” from her hotel room, but all she saw in the morning was a parking lot, hence the song.
    I can’t say nothing about IDVs baubles, what I saw was nice to look at.

  9. Yes. After leaving Microsoft he had a property management group he called “The Vulcan Group”, I used to call it the “Vulture group”.

    That song sounds familiar.

    I’m able to comment on IDV posts now, Blogger required a small token of affection in exchange for the ability to be seen and heard.

  10. “Vulcan”, ah ha. Maybe after microshuft he just should have been playing with his baubles in stead of developing parking lots – these are by definition boring, and sometimes dangerous.
    A token of affection” ? Like the usual pound of meat, I guess – or do I mess this up with fatzebuk ?

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