St 76

I do not want to dream. Of course I know that any human dreams, other animals too. It is some kind of hygiene of the brain, and possibly is connected with the management of memories, I do not know for sure. All I want is to sleep undisturbed.
Of course some dreams are lively, and sometimes they feel real – like another life. And there are situations when I have to get up in the night to visit the loo in a half comatose state, and I not really “leave” dreamland – it all returns, keeps on going in the second I am back in bed.
I never wrote a dream diary, I never wanted to “keep” them. Some were not nice, and I was happy to forget them finally.
Here I was working in an archive, or better : I was using an archive. I saw the rooms, and it was clearly not built as an archive, but some large house re-used. The materials were shelved, in storage, I saw boxes, files, folders – it was a modern archive, 20th century, the materials consisted mostly of filled out forms, and carbon copies ; most stuff was person related, personnel files.
“They” / the authority clearly did not want me to be there. I had the strong feeling of being not wanted, looked at with suspicion. The whole thing had some “Eastern” feel, some interiors reminded me of a location in East Germany I had visited ages ago. I was not allowed to use the central catalogue, or any other tools. I was referred to a lousy typed list. My job was to find & collect files, but I was not given a tool to locate them. (There was a “Zentralkatalog”, but I was bluntly dismissed.)
At some point I thought, literally, “Fuck you clowns, I do it my own !”, and that is what I did. I wandered the shelves looking for hints – there are always some ! – and finally got an idea how the whole “stock” was organised. At one point I realised what I had to look for, a signature that started with “St 76 …”. I found some files, and wanted to return for more research the next day, but was denied further admittance.
To this day I have no idea what I was looking for, nor what “St 76 …” stands for. All I know is that – when I finally had found it – I memorised it, I did not want to write it down, I not even said it loud. All I took from this archive is the start of this signature.
I have no clue why this dream stands out, and does not go away.

8 thoughts on “St 76

  1. “St” could be so many things! A street, a station, first two letters of Stalin’s name! I love/hate dreams. The really bad ones leave me shuddering for days. The really good ones I play over and over just because I can. I have a recourring nightmare I call “The darkness that eats the world”, it consumes my memories and all that I was before, its like being stalked by a black hole.

  2. Thankfully those times are over, when I could not remember the night before, dear Dinahmow

    I have no idea what it stands for Melanie. Stalin died with 74 in the early 1950s, so “Stalin ’76” makes no sense :) Thankfully black holes leave me alone in my sleep.

  3. Sorry Mistress, I’m not in hooking, tuna or else.

    Sleep paralysis sounds no good Cara. Do you also sleep walk ? I read somewhere that night terror can be connected with it.
    The best is when one can simply lie down, sleep for six to eight hours, and wake up refreshed. If it would be that easy.

  4. I agree with Dinah – spooky. Does the number 76 mean nothing to you at all? Your dream is about struggle, and being frustrated by others – although it is saying that you come away with something even though it is meaningless.
    I’ve been having zombie apocalypse dreams/nightmares.

  5. “76” means nothing to me MsScarlet. Coming away “with something even though it is meaningless” is a short & concise summary of a good part of my life.

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