A Suebian Experience

Finally I arrived in the 21st century communicationstechnocallywise – I think this worm-word can be called a Germanicism. The last weekend, at least Saturday evening, was pretty”android”. I have no clue what a “droid” is ; “android” may be short for “anthropo-id”, human-like, perhaps.
As I mentioned before, I was given a new communicator, a smart phone. I even had played around with it, because I had received a new sim-card from my telecommunication provider. The young man of this company’s serviceline fell over backwards – metaphorically speaking – when I articulated my wishes, and he had checked my customer data. So they made me a very nice offer I hardly could refuse. And only two days later I received a new rooter I had not asked for, replacing the outdated model that was soldiering on. Without any difficulties by the way : I just ripped the old thing out and put the new thing in. This may give you an hint of my relation to technology, or “smart” devices : I have no idea.
As already mentioned the new phone runs with “android” as operating system, so it is a google affair. I shyed away from setting this pretty new thing up. I hold grudges, it is an inherited failure. My paternal grandmother was known to hold grudges older than herself. My father was a bit softer on this matter, I am terrible. So the idea to have something “google” (and google only), since I avoided everything “google” for some years now, was not nice. The other thing is also old experience, back from digital stoneage, when “setting up” a “system” usually ment another sleepless night. I had asked a young man, who has some knowledge about these modern deVices, and he said “First – it is self-explanatory. Second – accept all, and it works.” I read an article in “Wired” explaining how an “Android”-phone can be de-googled, but in the end the author said that it is a lot of hazzle, annoyance, and one must seriously ask oneself whether it is worth the effort. So I deceided to jump right in.
I know from experince that I am terrible with manuals, and stuff. So I wanted la Suebienne by my side – and it was of course the right decision. A person who not only finds the damn manual on the web (the phone comes with very fundamental paper instructions ; of course the manual is on the phone, reachable – but only after you have set it up), finds it I say, reads it – and understands it, so my dumb questions are met with an answer that works ! Every bloke should have a Suebienne by his side, this would make the world a better place, really. My female readers may just smile knowingly.
An example is this : It is a phone. So of course we called it, and dutifully a screen appeared that gives the incoming number ; it shows a green telephone receiver in the left lower corner, and a red one in the right corner. So I tap my finger on the green receiver and say “hello” – what does nothing to the phone, it keeps ringing. Later I was called while in the contact section : The green receiver popped up at a different location, and wriggled. I touched it, and all was fine, clear connection. My reaction was to swear and ignore, while la Suebienne looked in the manual and told me that the correct prodecure is to tab the finger on the green receiver, and pull the icon to the middle of the screen. Yes, this works ; would have cost me ages and some swearwords to find out. By the way, she owns an “i-phone”, things are different in this sphere …
La Suebienne helped me to solve a lot of other problems, and now the smart phone works. I use face recognition (less security, more comfort : Someone could unlock by holding a picture of me into the camera.), and was seriously pissed off when my first tries were met with the notice “No face was recognised” : HEY – I did not hold a pig’s head into the camera ! After some attempts it works well – I can marvel at the pictures of the lock-screen (I opted for rotational sets that will be updated), stroke over the screen, look at the camera, and enjoy the quiet “blip” indicating that my phone loves me now, that the lock is open, what of course is shown on the screen too. The phone sleeps when I put it away, it wakes up when I take it in my hand, and starts fast.
It connected without any trouble to the Suebian home LAN, and will do the same thing here in my appartement. And it will connect to my vehicle – even the “Opahandy” did this without trouble, but of course its battery / accumulator was dry after two hours latest – something that will not happen with this new deVice. So I will be able to receive calls from customers / parents, and my dispatcher, while I am in the vehicle, hands free : A good thing.
I deceided to love SAMSUNG. I feared that I would be forced to use anything “google”, like the google browser. SAMSUNG built its own browser, and it does all a browser should do. AND it comes with a lot of prefab possibilities, like search engines – my favourite search engine “startpage” (the European search engine) was already there, also DuckDuckGo etc. And a lot of ad-blockers, some I even had not heared about before, and an “anti social” widget or add on, or how this things are called. BTW I hate the word “app”, it is tremendously ugly imho.
As your phone FirstNations (sorry dear, I can’t call you “Dave” after all we’ve been through !), mine is clad in a kind of protective “case”, can not say that I would like it. The phone itself is nearly perfect design-wise, I like it a lot. Maybe there are flaws, but I have not seen them yet – but I am seriously using this thing only for two days now. I do not find it awkward to speak into, I simply hold it like a usual phone, and it works. I used the earphones, and a Sunday Music I clicked was cristal clear. The machine boots fast, and as mentioned, I look at it and it unlocks. I do not expect the thing to make my life faster, easier of more efficient, simply because I will not use it for banking, “shopping” or somesuch inanities, it is a phone after all. It handles two Sim-cards well (this is something smart, really), and I can look something up in the web. If need be – as I saw in Suebia from a cab driver – it is usable as navigational help.
All this would have not happened without la Suebienne. I thank GOd that she’s there. Und des ned bloß wech’n dem fohn

12 thoughts on “A Suebian Experience

  1. Ah, I see! You went with the android system! The MITM finally joined the rest of the krewe (minus The Doc) and joined the iPhone family. Personally, I’ve opted to use my phone for calls, photos, and a few applications (yes, like you I find the word “app” slightly annoying) and have deleted all social media from my phone! Now that I know how to use the map/GPS feature, I’m A-OK! xoxo

  2. I suppose, one day, I’ll have to re-connect my Samsung.I will never use it for all the appy thingies it can do.”Dammit! It’s a PHONE, Jim” but I do like the camera.

  3. Exactly that Savannah, phone calls, photos, applications like the official “Corona”-pass, absolutely no banking, no shopping, no “social” media. A colleague once showed me how to use the map “service”, I remember that it was very easy. One SIM for business, one privatissime.

    I am happyly looking forward to exploring the camera Dinahmow ! I just do not know yet how to bring pictures from the phone to the computer, maybe via email.

  4. No need for headaches MsScarlet – I listen. Mostly.
    I am sure that it was a male engineer who found the magic cure-it-all for technology :
    Switch it off. Wait three seconds. Switch it on.
    Problem solved.

  5. Sorry Melanie, I was never there. It is Saxony, Lausitz region – all I know is that it exists, nothing else. Typical Eastern architecture, nice thought behind it, but only half finished … :)

  6. No worries m’ladies : Franconia is not affected by the rain – at least not in a way comparable to the destruction of life & material things / houses in the Western region of Germany. Also badly affected are regions in Belgium, The Netherlands, and Switzerland. The damn “Tief” “Bernd” (the weather configuration / pressure system responsible) is still there, for some strange reason it does not move. We only have flooded villages, but no destroyed houses.

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