BIttersweet, yes I think this characterises this week best.
Wednesday I sat on my balcony for some hours in the late afternoon, looking at the sky and watching those admirable little birds, Mauersegler, apus apus, or common swift. It’s possible that a few swallows were also in the group. I always remember that the augures, Roman seers, used to watch the birds, their behaviour & sounds, to catch a glimpse into the future. I was not that classy, and looked mostly back.
I finished a project that run over several years, mostly by accident. Nevertheless I felt a bit melancholic, pensive. At one point some years ago, I naively nursed the hope that there was the possibility of a long & steady contract. I made some suggestions that were rejected in clear words. Now I learned that the man who hired me ten (!) years ago retired last year, and that the (then) head honcho will leave for good to the end of this year. So the whole thing is buried now, as it was meant to be from the start. I have to go through some papers, billets etc. for the last outstanding bill, and that was that. It was a long good-bye.
There are one (or three) “things” that vex me, I know that there is a need for further investigation, research. I always defined myself, when asked “and what are you up to ?” by saying “Oh, the usual, lesen schreiben, recherchieren (read, write, research)”. I do not want it to end with a whimper. call it bus driver’s pride if you like.
The heat was unforgiving over the last days, finally this afternoon brought heavy rain, but no real relief. It’s a Dampfbad now, but at least with clear air. The small creek down there is not so little right now. She (it’s die Haslach) rose out of her bed and drenches adjacent fields. Too much water falling down in too little time. More rain is promised, at least slightly falling temperature too, but this promise was given & not kept a little too often over the last weeks by those weather people. All one can do is drink water, reduce the intake of “news”, and feed one’s brain. (The local firefighters arrived in the creek’s behalf, and put up some barriers, so yeah, they did something : If someone ignores these plastic things and gets wed feet, or falls in and drowns, the municipality is on the safe side – hey, we told you to not to !)
I do not want to blether on & on. I am tired in a way. My clothes are spread all over the place to dry, I was caught in the afternoon’s downpour. After less than ten meters walking it was useless to seek shelter, because t-shirt & trousers were already soaked, so I enjoyed the walk in the rain.
I want to end this with something friendly, swinging – so here is some music to enjoy.