So good the weekend was, the start of the week wasn’t. This Tuesday is lost. After a bad night I slept in, did not reach the set goals, was just running around to pick up things, and finally gave in around the late afternoon – nothing to expect today any more: Tomorrow is another day and a new start.
Friday was my last seminar. We had a last hour of resuming and discussion – the date (20. Juli [44]) gave a good start – and than went to a small tavern. They make good beer there, especial “Sternla” (= little star) is an interesting brew.
I am waiting for some answers from possible customers and/or employers, but nothing so far. A possible project went bang – promises are not worth a dime anymore – and that means the financial planing needs revision, to put it mildly.

Clouds roll in low, shades of gray blue white, the next downpour is imminent – Charles Fort wrote once about us humans living on the bottom of a sea-bed, looking up to the surface where the merchand-ships sail – and sometimes they loose something or they brake. Than it’s raining fish in the desert or red herring in London – aah Charley Fort was crazy but wrote interesting books and spent his time in the British Library – and not just this last point makes me sympathize with him. I know of the Fortean organisation and the Fortean Times. I actually checked some of his sources when I read his books and found his citations correct. One story of tiny coffins that were found in a cave in Scotland made my shiver. So my new catch of the week is the Charles Fort Institute.



Another weekend, another wedding. Must be a virus going ’round …
Just at home from the reception, sleeping off the champagne for an hour, then to the italian chef, hmhm one may look forward to some cooking event here, the guy has some reputation.

All there

I see a lady returning from an ill friend’s hospital-bed trying to understand and not to weep.

I see a young woman keeping it together, and everything, trusting in the seemingly unending reservoir of her power.

I see an old man banging his head in disgust over prejudice and stupidity knowing too well of his own weaknesses.

I see a lady sitting and thinking about the cat, life, proverbs 31, not messing it up.

I see a young woman recovering from cancer, gardening.

I see a wise rodent.

I see a tormented soul fighting, balancing, walking the line – payne, creativity and an unbreakable will, to life – I hope.

I see an old man sitting at his selfmade desk playing with his old dogs, watching thinking schweigend.

I see the purse-swinger in the bubble, smiling, eyes open, curious and bobbin’.

I see a man trying to be there while she dies.

I see an impossible fighter winning.

I see a warrior in the community center.

And a LADY doing her lips when going outside.


Georg Christof Lichtenberg was a small man, witty, mathematican and physicist, philosopher, 18th century. He kept “Sudelbücher”, “waste books”, where he put notices, anything that came to his mind. I do not know whether there is an english edition, I would be a hard task to translate his thoughts.

He talks in the cited text about courage and in the following paragraph about faith. I try to give this second paragraph:

“It is strong loss for the single human being, when it lost the conviction of the existence of a wise being gubernating the world. I believe this is a necessary result of all study of philosophy and nature. One does not loose the belief in a god, but it is not anymore the helpful god of our childhood; it is a being whose ways are not our ways and whose thoughts are not our thoughts – and that is no help for the helpless.”

[“Eine der schwersten Künste für den Menschen ist wohl die sich Mut zu geben. Diejenigen, denen er fehlt, finden ihn am ersten unter dem mächtigen Schatten eines der ihn besitzt, und der uns dann helfen kann, wenn alles fehlt. Da es nun so viele Leiden in der Welt gibt, denen mit Mut entgegen zu gehen kein menschliches Wesen einem schwachen Trost genug geben kann, so ist die Religion vortrefflich. Sie ist eigentlich die Kunst sich durch Gedanken an Gott ohne weiter andere Mittel Trost und Mut im Leiden zu verschaffen und Kraft demselben entgegen zu arbeiten. Ich habe Menschen gekannt, denen ihr Glück Gott war. Sie glaubten an ein Glück und der Glaube gab ihnen Mut. Mut gab ihnen Glück und Glück Mut.
Es ist ein großer Verlust für den Menschen, wenn er die Überzeugung von einem weisen die Welt lenkenden Wesen verloren hat. Ich glaube, es ist eine notwendige Folge alles Studiums der Philosophie und der Natur. Man verliert zwar den Glauben an einen Gott nicht, aber es ist nicht mehr der hülfreiche Gott unserer Kindheit; es ist ein Wesen, dessen Wege nicht unsere Wege und dessen Gedanken nicht unsere Gedanken sind, und damit ist dem Hülflosen nicht sonderlich viel gedient.” Georg Christof Lichtenberg, Heft J, 855 ]

The good thing about getting lost is to be found, and I can happily tell that I found myself again.
I am curious about the future.