Tag: angst

Cosmic Tipple *

The “festive” days are over, Saturday will be the last day of this strange year 2016. No worries, this will not end in a review of the year’s strange events or a list of the deceased.
I try to keep links to blogs, even when I do not read them regularly any more, or when the blog falls silent. The latter may have different reasons, like a change of the writer’s situation – especially when the blog was used e.g. as an outlet for emotions in a crisis situation, or when, generally speaking, the purpose of the writing is reached. Others simply use interest.
So I sort these links a bit, there is the folder with the daily “round”, another folder with blogs I look at now & then, and one with links to blogs I used to visit, that are silent or on a hiatus. With some blogs one knows that they have come to an end because the author is dead. It is either announced in one way or another, or is very certain, for example when the author was pretty old – a break of perhaps three years then allows the assumption that she or he died.
And then there are some blogs I keep close, visit, and hope that it is not over – and sometimes it rattles a bit, and – bang ! – there we go again. This was the case with the blog of Kabuki Zero, the man who told the world. After a small break of three years he returned to blogging, only to die after some months. This damn year seems firmly determined to kill as many creative, artistic people as possible. And it is not yet finished.

The time “zwischen den Jahren” / “between years” feels very strange this year. It is much too warm outside : When I look out I see greenish vineyards, a grey sky, and have the impression of an early spring day perhaps in March. The birds are confused, sing in the morning, I even saw first buds on a Magnolia. No snow in sight, no silence in reach.
One hears stories about people doing very strange things – not at the end of the world, but in the neighborhood, or within the circle of friends. So Kabuki-san’s surprising and unexpected death in a way “fits in” or “blends in” to this times of strangeness.
Perhaps the wobbly uncertainty & kind of alienation I sense around me, the uneasy outlook, the feeling that a bit more than usual, bizarre things happen on this old earth – perhaps it is a trick of the mind, and nothing changed, except my perception. But the possibility remains that the world in total, and my segment of the cosmos too, became a bit more peculiar than usual, uncertain, less predictable.
One should give attention to the dreams in the twelve nights between Christmas day and Epiphanias, and the strong winds each night seem to confirm the idea of the Wild Hunt passing through the area, blocksbergbound. But for the first time in ages I can sleep through, dreamless and undisturbed, missing out on the opportunity to learn about my future in the coming year – tah !
To make the outlook less gloomy here is some Poudre d’Or, ground by Mr SATIE, applied by Anne QUEFFÉLEC (Eng., about). [And, just for fun, a version played by Pascal ROGÉ (Eng.) for comparison.] I hope you enjoy the music.

I want to thank You for all the good Christmas wishes : Thank You.
I wish You all, my venerated readers, a Happy New Year 2017 !
Live long and prosper !

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* Many thanks to MSScarlet for bringing this interesting word to my attention.

Ich Will Silvaner

I had to look into the diary to be sure that it was only one week ago when we gathered in the Lorenzkirche (Ger., Eng.) in Nuremberg to say farewell to our friend M.B. The pastor said she had expected perhaps 25 souls to turn up, in the end there were more than sixty people in the church and at the following get-together – that of course took place at her favourite spot, the Kaffehaus in the local library (Ger.), her second living-room. I came home late, a bit tipsy.
On Monday the festivities for the Tag der deutschen Einheit, or German Unity Day (Ger., Eng.) took place in Dresden. And of course the “concerned citizens” showed up in all their brutal stupidity, this time top brass could not ignore them. Only one reporter described that the “concerned citizens” not only yelled and hollered at the main political figures of Germany, chancellor, federal president and head of parliament, but also made very tasteful “Affengeräusche”, imitations of ape-sounds (“Ugh ugh ugh !”) when people of colour went over the red carpet towards the main events – GOd, who cares about them nigger ambassadors ?
Nevertheless the Ministerpräsident of Saxony, the host of this event and head honcho of the uncivilised masses over there, later described  the whole ceremony as “well done” & “gelungen”, successful. Maybe he’s glad that Merkel was not hit with a bottle.
One has to accept that racism and neo-nazism has reached a certain part of the German society. I think around 20 percent of the population is more or less openly racist and fascist – that is the average : There are areas in the East of Germany that are nowadays totally brown. Notably in Mecklenburg and Saxony.
This is depressing – I never thought that it would come back. But I am a product of the old Western Germany, a state and a society that do not exist anymore, I was socialised and educated there. Those who yell, march and bomb are young, mostly of East-German origin and today stand in a tradition : They continue what their parents started 25 years ago when they burned houses of refugees, of course with the “niggers” and “Fidschis” still inside.
Today it is the “Arabic” migrant – it is absolutely pointless to start to argument and explain that these humans are not necessarily of Arabic origin or of Muslim faith – for them it’s all the same : Simple explanations rule ! The people of Turkish origin I know do look a bit concerned. It is only a question of time until the first mosque is burned down.
All this nonsense is depressing : the brutality ; the stupidity ; the sheer impertinence of those liars & manipulators who gain political capital from the idiocy of stupid people ; the Verbrechervisagen who all of a sudden show up in German parliaments, from local to the federal level. Of course we see a new nationalism in the whole of Europe, a very dangerous development. BTW those states of the “Vishegrad Group” (Poland, Slovakia, Czech Republic & notorious Hungary, Ger., Eng.) came up with a new word for cherry picking – they now speak of “flexible Solidarität”, flexible solidarity, what means nothing else but that they take what they like (mostly cash) and refute what they dislike, for example refugees. Because they have “principles” you know, like “holy” “nation” “first” or such crap.
But it cost you only three hundred thousand Euro to become a Hungarian citizen, of the “holy” “nation” : If you invest in this shithole of a country they throw their lousy passport at you. So much for “principles” …
This is not very uplifting, all in all.
I drove my kids around, at least some useful activity, and it pays the rent. Other things happened over the last ten days, mostly nice and positive. But I could not drag meself together and come up with a Sunday Music – the first time since … don’t know when I started this, and I am sorry for this breach or disruption of a long run. I like continuity.
Right now I should do some household chores, but frankly can’t be arsed to do this, Monday’s another day, eh ?!
I find it consoling or comforting to see beauty in the wounderful autumn lights early in the morning, when I drive into the rising sun, and in the late afternoon, when I drive West. All the human stupidity, all the brutality will one day be gone, done away with, there is a chance for development towards the ideal, the enlightened humane human being. And all the beauty I see reminds me of the limitedness of my own existence, the mortality of everything that is. It is autumn, and everything has a blue edge.
Rory GALLAGHER, I’m Not Awake Yet, just so.

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Some Monsters Walk on Two Legs

I’m dealing in the following with unsolved crimes against children.
If there is a possibility, dear reader, that this topic may trigger something – skip it here.
See you back for Sunday Music ?

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It started easy enough last evening when I went to the Smithsonian magazine to have a look. I was astounded to find an article from 2012 listed among the most popular reads, “The Children Who Went Up in Smoke” about the SODDER children who vanished on Christmas 1945 from the house of their parents in Fayetteville, West Virginia (Ger., Eng.). Yes – it is a staple for armchair-sleuths, and it is surely caused by the season of the year that this article is ranked high in saied list. I do not want to speculate about what has happened to them, or if it is possible to find a solution to this riddle – or if there actually exists a riddle. Some may say that the father of the children sadly destroyed any possible traces when he bulldozed over the place where his house had stood ; others may point to the ominous letter that was sent to the grieving parents 1968 – if this was not a terribly cruel prank, it surely must indicate that at least one kid survived what ever has happened to them. Read Ms ABBOTT’s article, and if you are interested, look at others too (here, and here f.e.). I do not want to dwell on this surely interesting case, but want to describe my meandering through and to other cases. For example I found this interesting blog about cold cases by Stacy HORN.
In a forum someone mentioned the BEAUMONT children (no German article, Eng.), about whom I had never heared before. Three children vanished in January 1966 from Glenelg Beach (Eng.), near Adelaide, Australia. As I understand, nobody was ever brought to court for this, the case remains unsolved. One of the main suspects is a man called Bevan Spencer von EINEM (no German article, Eng.) who is serving a life sentence for murder of a teenager. von EINEM is saied to have been the member of a group called “family” that has committed several severe crimes. “Family” here is a name given by a police officer, who in an interview sarcastically described this group as “a fine family”, it is not a chosen name like what MANSON did – who btw is freshly married, incredible.
The wikipedia-article about The Family Murders (no German article) does not mention the names of those involved or say that these individuals, with the exception of von EINEM, faced a worldly judge for their alleged deeds. I do not know what is going on there, and do not want to speculate.
What made me think is that there was a group of  “up to 12 people, several of them high-profile Australians”, who kidnapped, drugged, sexually abused and in some cases killed & tortured teenage boys and young adults.
At first I would think of a typical “Verschwörungstheorie”, conspiracy theory (Ger., Eng., German list, English list), a construct blaming “evil forces” or a specified social group for grave misdeeds – the mother of them all is in my opinion still the story of the Protocolls of the Elders of Zion (Ger., Eng.), and what all is connected with this, there are surely older examples too. This is the route this creature DUTROUX (Ger., Eng.) took, who always claimed that he was just a kind of henchman for a group of well-situated and well-connected persons in Belgium. As far as I can see these claims have never been proven and there seems nothing to be to it. What is a bit disturbing is the seemingly high number of witnesses who died while the case was investigated, 27 in all. That the investigation was far from effective and deeply spoiled by corruption, inefficiency and sheer distrust between the different authorities involved, can not seriously be denied.
Different is what is known today as the CASA PIA Scandal (Ger., Eng.) in Portugal : Here it is proven that a clique of well-connected, influential people were over years abusing orphans, some of them handicapped. The investigation and trial took ages, but finally a verdict was reached, nobody was burnt at the stake, sadly. [Note to OldKnudsen : I still oppose the death penalty as fundamentally wrong and scorn it as a modern and enlightened state unworthy ; it deters no one from committing crimes and is only a tool for revenge. I admit that revenge sometimes has something to itself.]
In merry old England a seemingly comparable case is brewing. I do not mean this monstrosity connected with the name of the city of ROTHERHAM (BBC, Ger., Eng.), but what is centred around DOLPHIN SQUARE (no German article, Eng., DailyMail) and Elm Guest House in London. Again a group of well-connected people abused and allegedly killed young boys over years.
I am not so much interested in the single person who does commit sadistic crimes, I’m more interested in how it is possible to do this in the middle of a more or less civilized society. What factors must come together that such a group can form and be active over years ? Protected, even when authorities are informed. Has someone worked about this, compared such groups, searched for similarities & distinctions ?
I think it would be a worthy endeavour and perhaps sharp the eye for such buboes.

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Push the Right Thing Please

Fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn … all I can say is that I do not like it anymore. Maybe I’m old. I just grab a big truck and hang in its slipstream, doing hundred km/h and keeping a distance. At this speed one has even a chance to look at the landscape – if there is any within an agglomeration like Stuttgart for example. Frankfurt area or Rhein-Main is even worse. There is nothing to see, just Autobahn, built for machines and speed, transit only.
I think 80 out of 100 cars that whoosh by are black, 10 are greyish-silvery, 10 are white, no living colour. And 95 out of 100 are plain ugly: Metal boxes in the old three box design (motor, passenger, luggage), with clumsy backs. The most ugly were Mini Countryman, BMW X whatever, and all these vomit inducing Smarts – no way I will ever climb in such a hypertrophic wheelchair. Even boy racer’s low down Golf II looks good in comparison!
Boring. And draining.
The Autobahn is like a vein, a Schlagader. I had to use a good piece of a fully developed three lane part between two economic centers, in the middle of the week, one way around midday and back on late afternoon/early evening. I never before had realised what a brutal piece of engineering it is, how it is rammed through the countryside, how it reduces man to function: drive or die.
When (!)  I win the lottery and will be able to travel through this wonderful continent called Europe to visit its cultural highlights, I will use public transport like trains and busses for distances; I will rent a car to visit places out of the beaten track by meself. But I will not use the German Autobahn system (Ger., Eng.), or something similar elsewhere –  all about transport, no travel. I do not believe that it is different in other metropolitan areas.

I may be wrong, but I feel that generally the level of brutality is raised in Europe over the last ten years in any aspect  – more violence on the streets, more profanity and abuse, more dishonesty (“politician” is an insult today),  less enlightenment and more rule of any kind. This is all silly, I am tired and angehievt, but something changed and I can not grab it.  Ach was soll’s, just some blues.