Tough day

Am a bit shakey. Got up much too early, spent the morning working with my old customer on a text. Afternoon driving to a remote village reading church-books. Both successfull works.
Circa one hour ago I received a phonecall by my oldest friend who told my that a common very good friend died on Saturday. Funeral on Wednesday 1400. It feels like a brother lost.
The man I met in the morning is in his 96th year on earth, my friend died one month after his 48th birthday.
All is arbitrary.

Killing by love

I do not dream very much, at least I am happy that I do not remember my dreams. Sometimes in the hours “in between”, between sleeping and being fully awake, film-sequences run before my inner eye.

This morning I found myself in the head of a man. He had his eyes shut and it was quiet. He opened his eyes and I was also looking through them. He was standing on a market-place in some oriental country – Pakistan, India, Bangladesh? The scene reminded me of a picture by Siddhart Jain. The man felt a tremendous joy as he looked over the crowd, like an ocean of life. He spread his arms like he would embrace the whole world. A young man stood before him and looked in his eyes. The man made a gesture like embracing the young man, moved his hands up besides the younger man’s body. He made a wiping gesture above the younger’s head-chakra, gently tipped against the younger’s neck. The young man made an exstatic noise, laid his head back and opened his mouth. A tiny white cloud came out, flew to the sky and gently dispersed, his body collapsed. The older man smiled, gently greeted the small white cloud and closed his eyes. I stood beside him. The sequence ended in silence as it started.

I do not know what to make with that. Probably nothing. It could be used as the opening sequence of a kind of game or a very weired picture.

purrr …

I always liked cats. In the last week or so some posts about cats appeared (Jay, LGS).
I just want to link to this. Maybe the old Egyptians were right to meet them with veneration. Somewhere in Hitchhiker’s Guide appears an old man in a hut who tries to understand his cat. Just came to my mind …


I remember when I was a child, that I had sometimes a “strange feeling” [ein seltsames Gef├╝hl], that draw my attention to something or someone. Sometimes I felt the obligation to go to a place, to look after someone; if this was not possible I looked for the watch and noticed what time it was, trying to remember that. Later I would ask that person, what (s)he was doing at this time.
It’s gotten weaker when I grew older. It even vanished. But sometimes it is like an order, a command: Pick up the phone! Think of this person!
I call, I think, I wonder.